Why?
You are moving your entire life away from your family and your friends. You’re leaving the house you grew up in, the street your school bus ambled down. Love or hate your hometown, at the very least, you know it. And by leaving, you sacrifice your knowledge of the terrain, the edge of familiarity – which is fine – but you better know why you’re doing it.
Don’t underestimate what you’re giving up. You’re leaving your doctors, your dentists, your favorite orthodontist. The relationships with your mailman, the grocer, the girl who has your coffee (light and sweet; extra whipped cream; sprinkle of cinnamon) ready before the bell above the door finishes chiming. You know which places have the best sushi, shrimp scampi, and after 10 p.m. drink specials. You’ll uproot nearly two decades worth life.
Ask: why?
If you’re still living with your parents, you take many aspects of your life for granted. That’s not a generalization. If you think otherwise, you’re naïve or foolish; neither of which you can afford while making this transition. If you do pay rent, your parents (hopefully) aren’t gouging you. You don’t pay utilities, electric, cable. Someone buys groceries, someone cooks, even if it’s just occasionally. There are leftovers, and a microwave to heat them up. If you choose to cook, pots and pans are available for your use. You have a spice cabinet. You didn’t buy that oil, the salt, pepper, the paprika, the cornstarch, the chicken stock – you caught them like a senior citizen Wal-Mart associate – snoozing in the condiments aisle. Same with the countless oddly shaped mugs, your favorite Giants glass, the Corelle with the olive branches and dark stain that just won’t come out. You didn’t buy any of it.
But you’ll have to.
So you better know why.
Better spend serious time contemplating this question. Romanticizing about your beautifully independent life, or L.A. dreaming with your car windows rolled down for an hour isn’t doing the question justice. It might take weeks. Or months.
Why?
What’s the ultimate goal behind this move? What’s your metric of “Mission Accomplished” after a month? A year? Five years? Don’t expect to map out your life before leaving. It’s unrealistic, and probably impossible. But goals are essential.
What are you ideally doing when you get out there?
What’s a normal day like for you? What kind of work are you doing?
Who surrounds you?
Does this move align with the dreams you had for yourself when you played beneath tables and clung to pant legs?
What are you going to use the time and new-found proximity to accomplish?
What are you not going to do?
How far are you willing to fall before you realize it’s not working out? It’s fine to “fail,” even to fail utterly, but have a clear idea upon what those standards are set. What’s the back-up plan?
Is there a back-up plan?
Can you afford to have one?
Examine these questions before proceeding with your planning. If they scare you, good. David Horath said, “If you’re not scared, you’re doing something wrong.” That fear is a gut-check, a poke before the final question:
Are you ready?
Sidebar: Breaking Falls
Sidebar: The Struggle
Continue to XC2LA Part Two: Planning a Permanent Move
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