Perched on a ledge, his legs and fashionably plaid shorts dangling over the edge; below them, a 12-foot drop into sand. His brown Hollister shirt sopping in his perspiration, like he just pulled it from a bath drawn from his own sweat. Water beads dot his eyebrows. His tired hands shake as they clutch the hard rock.

He silently counts to himself, psyching himself up for the drop. “One, two, three…” But his butt doesn’t move. It remains rooted, still as stone, like any of the rock formations we’ve encountered in Zion. “So,” he said. “That didn’t work.”

Then he turned back to me.

“I can’t do it.”

The fact he was in this spot at all – not sipping water, patiently waiting for our return at the beginning of the trail, still shocked me. Getting here, twelve feet of gravity between him and the ground, required him to climb the distance a few hours ago, white knuckling, tip-toeing, and heel hooking his way up the red rock.

After that, the bouldering problems got real hard. Yet he traversed every barrier we traversed, accomplishing the goals via alternative means, but conquering them nonetheless. Slowly but relatively smoothly, until now.

I shrugged, and looked around. The sun was starting to duck behind the wall of rock behind him. We still hadn’t found a place to camp, so if we were lucky, we’d pitch the tent with the last snatches of sun beam on our backs. If we were unlucky, Will would be getting booted off that ledge and we’d set up camp in darkness.

You don’t have much of a choice, I told him. It’s getting dark, and we need to head back. We can’t stay here forever.

Seeing him there reminded me of this scene from, Gattaca, with Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman. Hawke’s character needs to avoid the authorities, and behind him, he drags a reluctant Uma Thurman, who’s ragged breathing can’t quite catch up to her physical exertion. She suffers from a heart condition, and when they finally collapse behind a wall, she gasps, “Don’t you understand? I can’t do that.”

And Hawke replies, “You just did.”

As I planned this road trip I couldn’t help but feel relieved I was doing it with two friends. I’d never be able to road trip across the country, schlep all my belongings out west on my own, I reasoned to myself. How would I handle all the driving, or go camping by myself? Wasn’t it a safety issue, sleeping alone in the wilderness? Those questions nagged at me, all the unknown variables that pricked like nettles for someone who needs at least some semblance of a plan to get through his day. I truly believed I wasn’t capable of doing it.

And I was right.

You’re not capable of doing anything until you’ve done it.

A few months ago I went through the same mental gyration about moving out west at all, with or without other people. It was a terrible idea, I thought, abandoning a stable lifestyle to become destitute and broke. I’d never be able to leave everyone and everything familiar behind. I was simply incapable of such a task – until I did it, that is.

Will wasn’t capable of shimmying through tight spaces, and conquering those bouldering problems… until he did.

Just as he wouldn’t be capable of taking that twelve foot drop. Until after a 15-minute psych-up session, I watched him slowly edge his butt off the ledge… stick one precarious leg out into the air, and let go.

He fell.

He fell hard, air punching out of his lungs like pulling a nail from a tire. His mass collapsed on his knees, more force than he expected. He rolled into the dirt and groaned, disbelief at the feat that just moments ago, he couldn’t do.

Related posts:

1. Sidebar: The Struggle
2. Sidebar: Breaking Falls
3. Sidebar: The Contact List

Below is the lay, from the constraints faced, to budgets versus actual, and the route:

Constraints

The trip was completed in a 2006 Corolla-S sedan with  manual transmission. Two people were moving out to Los Angeles permanently, the third was traveling out with six weeks worth of belongings. The fit was tight in the car, but not completely uncomfortable. Moving in one vehicle is a daunting proposition for folks who’ve been settled down for a few years, and come laden with dressers, brushed silver frames, and suitcases worth of clothes. If you must bring these belongings, this wikiHow article explains different options – Step 11 gives an overview. None of the passengers have embarked on an extended road trip before. Before this trip,  I’ve rarely popped a car’s hood, have never changed a tire, and my idea of “camping” was renting a house on the lake armed with all the amenities.

Budget

If you’re into budgeting and determining exact costs, having a solid itinerary and seriously considering your sleeping conditions will answer a great deal of these questions. Examine our budgeted costs and actual costs for your own reference (opens an Excel spreadsheet.)

For eleven days:

Gas

Total miles: 4,350

10 hours driving time/day

Fill up every 10 gallons.

The vehicle gets 27 miles to the gallon of gas. That’s 270 miles per fill-up; or about 16 tanks to get across the country. At $2.80 per gallon (or $28 per fill-up) it’ll cost $448 to cross the states.

Food

$20 per day, for 10 days. Plus the initial $20 for food, per person, we arrive at $245.

Lodging

We’ll visit maximum three National Park Entries. Total cost of the national parks will be $20, per person. Calculated into lodging are two Holiday Inn stays, in case of an emergency, which comes out to $33 per person.

The total lodging is $53 per person.

Miscellaneous Emergency Funds

Total $100

Actual – In Brief

The road trip lasted 10 days. On our traveling days, an average of 8 hours was spent on road time. The 50 mph east of the Mississippi, 55 mph west of the Mississippi is a conservatively accurate measure of hours you’ll be on the road, including time to get gas and coffee.

The evening destinations included: Baltimore, Maryland; Fort Wayne, Indiana; Chicago, Illinois; Kansas City, Missouri; Bonny Lake, Colorado; Moab, Utah; St. George’s, Utah; Las Vegas, Nevada; Los Angeles, California

The states passed through included: New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Colorado, Kansas, Utah, Arizona, Nevada, California

The distance traveled (not including miles inside the towns) was 3,358 miles.

Estimated total spending for the group was $888; actual was $597.

After divvying shared costs (not total costs) each person spent just under $200.

As an individual, each person’s costs landed somewhere around $350 – $400.

The Route – Albany to Los Angeles

Below is the information gathered to plot the trip. The important aspects: start and end location, estimated miles and time traveled, and locations for sleeping (multiple if you’re not exactly you’ll be crashing.) Two great resources to find campsites are About: Student Travel and Free Campgrounds.

View XC2LA Road Trip in a larger map

Day 1 – Sunday, June 13

Start: Albany, NY

End: Baltimore, MD

Miles | Time: 330 m. | 6 hr. 30 min.

Lodge: Maria in Catonsville, MD 21228

Day 2 – Monday, June 14

Start: Catonsville, MD

End: Fort Wayne, Indiana

Miles | Time: 563 m. | 11 hr. 15 min.

Lodge: Morgan in Fort Wayne, IN 46814

Day 3 – Tuesday, June 15

Start: Fort Wayne, Indiana

End: Chicago, Il.

Miles | Time: 203 m. | 4 hr.

Lodge: Eric in La Grange, IL 60525 or Karen in Northfield, IL 60093

Day 4 – Wednesday, June 16

Start: La Grange, IL

End: Kansas City, MO

Miles | Time: 526 m. | 10 hr. 30min.

Lodge: Amber in Kansas City, Missouri 64133 or Fairground Park in Higginsville, MO or Walnut Park in Arkansas City, MO

Day 5 – Thursday, June 17

Start: Kansas City, MO

End: Bonny Springs, CO

Miles | Time: 591 m. | 10 hr. 45 min.

Lodge: Ellis, KS or Phillipsburg, KS (Phillipsburg City Park) or Colorado Springs, CO (Hugo City Park), or Colorado Springs, CO (Bighorn Canyon/Salida)

Day 6 – Friday, June 18

Start: Bonny Springs, CO

End: Arches National Park (Moab, Utah)

Miles | Time: 406 m. | 7 hr. 25 min.

Lodge: Camping ($10 per vehicle)

Day 7 – Saturday, June 19

Start: Arches National Park

End: Zion National Park (Utah)

Miles | Time:

Lodge: Camping ($25 per vehicle)

Day 8 – Sunday, June 20

Start: Zion National Park

End: Las Vegas, NV

Miles | Time: 163 m. | 3 hr.

Lodge: Terry in Las Vegas, NV

Day 9 – Monday, June 21

Day 10 -Tuesday, June 22

Start: Las Vegas, NV

End: Los Angeles, CA

Miles | Time: 170 m. | 3 hr

Post Road Trip

If I Did It Again

I’d take a more “themed” approach, and fulfill that theme at every stop. One of the original themes was “Sushi Restaurants”: that’d involve visiting every famous sushi spot along the way, as well as the best restaurants in the town I’d stay in.

Such a theme presents several obstacles. First, traveling with others makes the sushi theme a difficult prospect. Unless they’re explicitly down with the idea, the theme probably doesn’t excite them very much. Second, chasing sushi restaurants across America isn’t the same as chasing friends; the restaurants won’t put you up for the night. Finally, sushi isn’t a budget meal, and a road trip built on a sushi theme would easily double or triple expenses for the trip.

If a road trip is in the future, touring more National Parks is a definite interest. National Parks provide the best the states have to offer: beautiful scenery, exercise, people to meet, and camping. If you visit three of four National Parks, it’s worthwhile to splurge on the National Parks Yearly Pass for $80. Also, call for reservations a month ahead if you plan on camping – many National Parks are switching to the reservation system.

In a group road trip, the selection of travel mates is important. It is not like putting together a corporate team, or a committee to oversee the town; don’t look for balance and differences that provide a wide view. For a trip of short duration, focus is more important. The similarities between travel mates are more important than the differences. Acquire travel mates who share the same standards (or lack thereof) of comfort, dining, and interest. (For example, someone who doesn’t eat fish isn’t a good candidate for the “Sushi Restaurant” themed road trip.)

If the group isn’t focused, then despite your best efforts, tension and resentment will inevitably arise.

Miscellaneous Tips

Before leaving on the trip, agree between travel mates which costs will be split between travelers. For example, if the car breaks down, who contributes towards the repairs?

Driving from Colorado into Utah on Route XX, for the first dozen exits, there are zero services: no gas, no telephone, no nothing. This is a fact they fail to mention at the last exit in Colorado. Make sure you fill up on gas and water.

Leave Vegas while you’re up.

Getting used to the diet of PB&J’s was simple. Not showering on a regular basis – less so.

Armed with an atlas, you can worry considerably less about exact locations to camp out for the evening. Just open the map and shoot for a spot.

Sidebar: Final Thoughts

Continue to XC2LA: Part 5 – Settling in Los Angeles

Return to XC2LA: Part 3 – Planning the Road Trip

Related posts:

1. Planning the Road Trip
2. Sidebar: Final Thoughts

Planning a road trip can be an overwhelming process. Below, the process is broken down into digestible chunks. Take one piece at a time, and don’t rush or stress. It’s fun – if anxiety doesn’t overcome your enthusiasm.

First: buy a large, updated road atlas. Combined with online mapping services like Google Maps or Bing!, you can spend a week tinkering the itinerary. Both the atlas and the online service is crucial for planning – the former helps foresee day-to-day travel options, the latter makes big picture planning easier, and quickly calculates miles and hours between various destination points.

Having a GPS on your trip is an amazing luxury: turn by turn directions, points of interests, and detours are just a few features that prove invaluable. An atlas, however, never runs out of batteries. It doesn’t require a signal, it doesn’t scream “Steal me!” You can write on it and mark it up, and stick post-it notes on it. Don’t depend solely upon the GPS.

Remember, the GPS is a luxury.

The atlas is essential.

Planning the Itinerary and Route

Creating a solid itinerary starts with the right questions:

1. Where will you start and end your trip?
2. What specific cities/towns do you want to see? Why? Because you love the mountain air, because you dreamed about becoming a ski bum, because you’ve considered living there?
3. What’s your passion? Designing the itinerary around your passion immediately brings the trip into focus: national parks, music, martial arts schools, beer breweries, distilleries, sushi joints, famous bars.
4. Who do you know across the states? It’s a great way to visit family and friends in their native surroundings, where they’re the most comfortable and therefore, the most receptive.
5. Of these locations you’re starting to compile, which are absolutely essential to get your full experience? Which are you willing to drive five hours out of your way to visit? Which are destinations you’d like to experience at your leisure?
6. How many miles or hours can you spend on the road per day? As a rough guide, calculate 50 mph on roads east of the Mississippi, and 55 mph on roads west of the Mississippi. It’s conservative, and accounts for rest stops and light traffic.
7. Lodging logistics – are you going to camp out every night? Is so, how close are your destination spots to campground sites? Or, do you prefer the comfort of the bed to the prickle of brush beneath you?

Spend the time on research. Wrangle in concrete answers to these questions, and the itinerary takes its own shape. If you understand your own comfort levels, your route will lay itself, unfolding like a yellow brick road.

Preparations

You’re about to take your vehicle on a 3,000-plus mile journey; spend the time and money to ensure she’s up for it. Make sure the inspection is updated, your insurance papers are intact, the tires still have good treads, and the oil has been recently changed.

Do you know where your jack and spare tire are? Do you know how to change a tire? If not, learn, and learn how to do it quickly. Murphy’s law dictates a flat will most likely happen in the dead of the night during the middle of thunderstorm. Practice changing that tire until you can do it blindfolded, naked, with your left foot in a cast. Then you’ll be ready when Murphy strikes.

Check your fluids: motor, transmission, coolant, brake, steering and windshield.

Does your auto insurance provide roadside assistance? Do you have AAA membership?

Other notes to remember: check your Entertainment Book for coupons on national motels and auto body shops, notify your insurance company and credit card company you’ll be traveling, and buy a National Parks Pass for $80 if you plan on touring the parks.

Make sure there’s the emergency contact information for everyone in your car (who knows your car and its license plate,) in your wallet, and on your cell phone.

Keep a copy of your medical insurance card, and recent photos of you and your travel mates in the car.

Packing

Clothing

Three sets of clothing (shorts/pants, t-shirts, underwear and socks) and a jacket are all you’ll need in regards to clothing. If you plan on going out, include a nice dress shirt and shoes. Anything besides this is excessive.

See Minimalism Attire for ideas on clothing.

Electronics

If you don’t feel like making a three dozen CD’s, buy an mp3 player and make sure you have a tape hook-up or auxiliary hook-up to your car’s stereo.

Check to see you’ve packed your camera.

Also, a device that coverts the cigarette lighter into an outlet will prove invaluable.

A laptop is useless on the road, unless you need it for writing or when you arrive at your destination. A smart phone and data plan can come in handy, however.

Camping

You’ll save money camping – whether it’s at National Parks, State Parks and Forests, or just pulled over on some side road in Utah. It means you’ll have a few extra items to pack, however.

A cooler – which can be a hard cooler, or a cooler bag, with a refreezeable ice pack.

Extra plastic, zip-lock bags for leftover food and miscellaneous items.

Buy a tent – the ALPS Mountaineering Zephyr 2 Tent 2-Person 3-Season Tent serves well and cost around $90.

A sleeping bag – not just a fleece blanket. Even if it’s the middle of the summer, the temperature drops sharply in late evening/early morning, especially in the hottest parts of the United States. Don’t think you can get away with just a blanket. Spend the money.

A sleeping mat is a nice addition to elevate yourself off cold, rock surfaces. Check out – the ALPS mountaineering lightweight pad.

Other miscellaneous items: knife/Swiss Army Knife, matches, toiletries and toilet paper.

Food

Spending 8 to 10 hours in a sedentary position, staring off into the void called Illinois or Kansas terrain won’t burn many calories, so you’ll eat less. If you don’t require much variety in your diet during the road trip, it’s possible to get by cheaply on food. Two peanut butter sandwiches per day per person, a few bags full of nuts, some fruit, and plenty of water and coffee keeps the fuel in the tank and money in the pocket.

The great part about going bare bones in this area is that if you get bored with your PB&J’s, it’s easy to splurge: one morning, get McDonald’s breakfast. Stop at a dive somewhere. Visit a friend and go out for dinner.

With food, you can really spend as much or as little as you want.

Resources

If you’re looking for inspiration, try these resources:

Books

Road Trip USA by Jamie Jensen – an excellent resource that offers a dozen pre-planned routes to choose, and memorable destinations along the way. Use these routes as a guideline while planning your trip – the more you invest in personalizing your journey, the more you’ll take away from the long stretches of pavement, besides asphalt and dust.

Live Your Road Trip Dream by Phil and Carol White – this book is divided into two sections: the planning, and the trip. While “the trip” portion gets dry (think: daily journal, covering a year worth of traveling,) the former covers many areas long-term roadtripping: from telling your family, finances, packing, and what to do with your stuff. It requires scouring and skimming to find notes that you can apply to your trip, but proves well worth the time.

Websites

Squidoo’s Road Trip Lens by kimisoutback – a fantastic lens on every aspect of road trip planning

Road Trip America – features a dedicated forum, articles on road tripping, and a Fuel Cost Calculator

Road Trip USA by Jamie Jensen – Jensen’s blog to accompany his book (noted above.) He answers reader questions and discusses in-depth various aspects of the road.

Free Campgrounds – the website includes a search feature for free (or inexpensive) campgrounds in any state.

About: Student Travel provides more information about camping and camping grounds.

Off Road Adventure by Paul Thompson – Thompson wrote a treasure chest’s worth of booty for other road trippers. Two posts of significant note: 10 Things Not To Leave Home Without and The 4X4 Gourmet

Phillip Ryan Johnson – Johnson’s blog posts on his trip from New York to Los Angeles

Road Brew by Teri Fahrendorf – Fahrendorf’s road trip across the country and back, visiting and brewing with professional brewers along the way.

Travel Channel – use the Travel Channel website to create a “theme” to your itinerary.

Taylor Davidson’s 79 Things is a great road trip packing resource.

If you’re looking to put together a California themed playlist, check out Wikipedia’s California Song List.

Continue to XC2LA: Part 4 – The Road Trip

Return to XC2LA: Part 2 – Planning a Permanent Move

Related posts:

1. The Road Trip
2. Planning a Permanent Move
3. Sidebar: Final Thoughts

Rule One: bring less. It’s easier. Regardless of other variables – how many people, destination, your Chinese zodiac sign – this doesn’t change. Repeat it like a mantra. Repeat it regardless of your vehicle, because whether you have a single car or a fleet of U-Hauls, the rule applies:

Bring less.

Letting things go seems scary if you can’t imagine yourself without the furnishings surrounding you as you read this. They’ve been there for the past 20 years, after all. But most things can be repurchased or replaced. So minimize.

How to Minimize

Go through your belongings. Sort everything into three piles: Bring, Store, Toss. Take your time with this. It might take a few rounds to strip yourself to the essentials. Be ruthless. The smaller your vehicle, the better. Space limitations force you to leave things behind.

Use a “six months” guideline: if you haven’t looked at it or used it in six months, Store or Toss. Preferably toss. This will include a great deal from your college days; be ready to skip down memory lane (but don’t spend too much time reminiscing): postcards, posters, shot glasses, certificates, matches, old CD’s, batteries, headphones, notebooks, souvenirs from the summer in Cancun, old cell phone manuals, the computer maintenance kit. If you’re only keeping something for sentimental reasons, toss it. Resist the urge to Store everything. You’re wasting space.

In regards to manuals/computer CD’s/music CD’s – most of this stuff you’ll be able to access online. Save it to the computer, then back it up. Get rid of hard copies.

Take pictures of things you want to remember.

Start early. Start small. Most importantly, start and keep going. Clean out this drawer, or that book shelf. This part of the desk, those pile of papers, that section of the closet. Work 15 minutes at a time, then take a break – for five minutes, or for the day. In a month you’ll eliminate a majority of the inessentials.

Anything in the Store or Toss piles, see if you can’t donate, or sell on Craigslist or eBay.

Find a place for your Store belongings. This might be a storage rental or someone’s basement.

Examine the Bring piles. Do you really need everything? Will it all fit into your vehicle? On the first few attempts, the answers will likely be no. Start the process over again.

Some sticking points:

1. Furniture
   Don’t get hung up on not having furniture when you arrive at your destination. Even if it is possible to bring furniture (if you’re taking a single vehicle out, it’s not) it’d be expensive, time consuming, and labor intensive.
   You might rent a furnished apartment.
   You can always Craigslist sofas, bed frames, dressers.
   You may crash with someone who has furniture.
   The furniture situation will sort itself out. David Horvath said about his living situation after moving from Los Angeles to New York: “When we decided to start for real, I slept on my sister’s floor for 9 months, eating not much more than cereal, plain white bread, and salads… Rent was a few hundred backs, paid for by selling everything I owned in LA, keeping 5 days of clothes and not much else. I bought an air bed but had no table…”
   It’s an extreme, but it shows what can be done if you want something bad enough.
2. CD’s/DVD’s
   Get an iPod. If the movies are that important to you, subscribe to Netflix for $9.95 per month. Then leave the DVD’s at home. You won’t have space for them.
3. Collections
   Doll collections, pet rock collections, Final Fantasy 7 figurines, exploded hard drives, liquor bottles, bottle caps, Pokemon cards, movie posters, notebooks, coin collections, toe nail trimmings, spare voodoo dolls, stamps, Matchbox cars, Cabbage Patch dolls, sticker collections… whatever it is you choose to collect, leave it at home. Take pictures of it if it’s that important to you – Saran wrap things, store them in a cool, dry place and out of the sunlight, but whatever you do, don’t bring it.
4. Books
   If you haven’t picked it up in a year, donate it to your local library or give it away. If you can’t bear the thought, box them up or find someone else’s shelf space, because they’re not coming with you. Bring only the bare essentials to your work (cook books, writing books, acting books, comedy books) – and only the Canon, not something with a nice cover that’ll look good on the coffee table you won’t have. Books that have been dog eared and bookmarked and highlighted – those are the books you’re going to use.
   Bring one, non-Canon, can’t-live-without-book.
   Or buy a Kindle.
5. Shoes
   I got my trainers, of course. Then my gym sneakers, my dress shoes, and my sandals, but that’s it. Oh, and my boat shoes, too , the Sperry’s, because they’re kind of that versatile, casual-yet-slightly-dressy kind of shoe, and it’ll definitely be worth it to bring them. Oh, can’t forget my cleats – no, I haven’t played baseball/golf/soccer since college, but who knows, right? My rock climbing shoes, of course, don’t want to have to shell out another $70 on those. And boots, too, for riding the bike and in case it rains or snows, you got to have them…
   Just like that – you’re at eight (8!) pairs of shoes.
   Chances are ladies may struggle even more with minimizing their footwear.
   Guideline: one pair of trainers, one pair of sneakers, one dress, one sandal. Done. It is difficult, but remember: wherever you’re going, they have shoe stores.
6. Clothes
   Strip your closet down to its Core. For a more in-depth discussion, see Minimalism Attire.

Sorting through the material things in your life is time consuming, and it’s only the beginning. Read about how to minimize in small steps.

Other Pre-Move Steps

Next, schedule appointments with all your medical professionals before you leave. If you have health issues, better to find out now than when you’re on your own. This means doctor, dentist, orthodontist, dermatologist, chiropractor, and anyone you see on a yearly basis.

Handle your finances. Calculate your estimated monthly expenses in your destination city (health insurance, car insurance, rent, gas, cell phone, gym membership, food, miscellaneous expenses) and have a minimum three times that in a savings account.

Anywhere from six months to a year emergency reserve is better, but the three month buffer is the minimum.

Put your tax documents for the last five years in a folder and bring them with you. Create electronic copies of everything, and create back-ups. Take digital photos of important documents, save them on your computer and on an external hard drive.

Online banking has made money management more convenient than ever. Still, transactions can take longer than desired, and/or you may not have access to the web. Give someone you trust access to your bank account, in case you need to move money around quickly: a parent, a good friend, someone easily accessible. Use Free Credit Score to check your credit.

Unsubscribe to newsletters or magazines you no longer read.

Make someone responsible for your mail, until you’ve notified everyone of your new address.

Developing Connects

Compile a contact list of everyone you know in your destination city. You know more people than you think.

To clarify: you know more people who know more people than you think.

Start by telling a few people about what you’re going to do. Don’t announce it on Twitter or your blog – just close family and friends. Don’t tell people you think will help you out; tell those you know will, because they’ve bent over backwards for you in the past. These people are less likely to flake on you when you really need help.

Tell them, and if they have contacts, ask for their information. If they don’t know of anyone, tell them to keep an open eye. You’re not looking for people in your industry, or someone with an “in.” That’s not why you’re developing this contact list. You’re looking for people willing to talk to you about your new town.

As your departure dates draws closer, and your move enters the “This Is Definitely Happening Stage,” expand your search criteria. Tell more people about your plans: co-workers, friends of friends, friends of family. You’ll get lots of “oh, my friend is out there,” or “I know a guy.” Write them all down. Get phone numbers, addresses, and e-mails; of the referral and the person referring you. You’ll need to ask for permission to contact the person. Again, you’re not filtering for who works in your industry.

Use social networking tools to build the contact list. Scroll through your “friends” on Facebook. See if alumni branched off to where you’re going. If someone headed off to your destination city, don’t send them a message, asking to crash. But mark down their name, so you know they’re in the vicinity if something (a problem, a crisis, a reunion, an opportunity, etc.) comes up.

Once you arrived with your contact list, what do you do with it?

Whatever you want. How you use that tool is a matter of personal preference and comfort level. Just be aware: if it feels wrong, then it probably is. If it feels like you’re just using someone, the other person is probably aware of it, too.

Making Commitments

Start creating your plan of attack: what are you going to do when you actually get there? There are the obvious two objectives: find residence and find employment. But those two couldn’t occupy all 24-hours of your day.

If you’re an artist – writer, photographer, director, actor, painter – make the commitment now to keep working your craft. Twyla Tharp said her body knew when she took a day off from dancing. “When you walk away from your craft, even for a little while, your skill begins to diminish,” she wrote. Stay committed to whatever daily goal you have for producing your art. If you don’t have a daily goal, create one. Commit to it.

Pick someone you’ll call on your contact list. People have to eat, right? Choose someone who knows you’ll be in town – preferably someone who’s friendly and wouldn’t mind talking about the neighborhood. You have a lot to learn, and just having a conversation about it will be a good start.

Make a list of the touristy stuff you want to do. The city will lose some of its glamour after a few short weeks. Before it does, explore it like the neophyte you are. One day you’ll be too seasoned to look at everything with a naïve eye; enjoy it while you can.

Find out where the library is, and get a card.

Look out for any MeetUps of your interest.

Plan to subscribe to the local papers and your trade magazine.

Make a list of the “spots” you must uncover. This includes your go-to: coffee shop, farmer’s market, Asian supermarket, chain grocery store, beach, and pub.

Use Craigslist not only to keep tabs on employment opportunities, but on sales of the big ticket items you couldn’t bring with you – namely, furniture.

Goodbyes

Start saying your goodbyes. Visit friends and family. There’s something classy about “Goodbye” and “Thank-you” notes. Unfortunately, few people adhere to common courtesies in these run-and-gun, tweet and gChat days. That means if you do adhere to these rules, you stand out as someone with composure and maturity – two qualities also in short supply.

Who’s been particularly influential in your childhood, while growing up? These could be teachers, parents of your friends, coaches, and mentors.

Who gave you rides to baseball games, or cheered for you on the soccer field when your parents weren’t there?

Who was always supportive of what you wanted to do? Who encouraged you?

Whose influence made you into who you are today?

Who is an example of the type of person you strive to be?

The very least you owe these people is a note telling them how important they were in your life.

A Complete Packing List

Clothing

1. (7) T-shirts
2. (4) Boxers
3. (4) Pairs of socks
4. (2) Long-sleeves
5. (1) Leggings
6. (2) Zip-Ups
7. (7) Button-Down Shirts
8. (2) Pairs of casual pants
9. (5) Ties
10. (2) Pairs of athletic shorts
11. (1) Suit
12. (1) Down Vest
13. (1) Pair of Swimming Trunks
14. (1) Windbreaker

Shoes

1. (1) Trails Shoes
2. (1) Crocs
3. (1) Dress Shoes
4. (1) Walking Shoes

Electronics

1. iPod Nano
2. Laptop (w/ charger)
3. Camera (w/ charger and spare battery)
4. Dana Word Processor
5. Spare Cell phone

Camping

1. Cooler-Bag
2. Extra zip-lock bags
3. 2-Person Tent
4. Sleeping bag
5. Sleeping mat
6. Swiss Army Knife

Food

1. Peanut butter-Jelly sandwiches
2. Fruit: apples, bananas, cherry tomatoes
3. Mixed nuts

The Car

1. Jumper cables
2. Check tires
3. Spare Fluids
4. Spare tire and jack
5. Road Atlas

Other

1. Toiletries
2. Toilet Paper
3. Notebook
4. Skateboard
5. (2) Books

Sidebar: The Contact List

Continue to XC2LA: Part 3 – Planning the Road Trip

Return to XC2LA: Part 1 – Why?

Related posts:

1. Planning the Road Trip

That was six years ago, and he’s been going crazy ever since.

“You don’t know how sick I am of old people. And omelets. That’s all I see: old people and omelets. If something doesn’t change soon, I’m going to lose it.”

He asked about coming out to Los Angeles with us. If it was okay with us, he’ fly in after we got settled down and live with us for a year. He wanted the West Coast. He wanted sunshine. He wanted an adventure – at least for a year. If things didn’t work out, then he’d move back to Albany. Go back to the business.

We talked about it over drinks. We expressed our concerns – that it wasn’t okay to piggyback off of us, after we’ve did all the leg work of finding a place to live. That if he wanted to do this, he had to haul ass, too. He had to be committed. Get in touch with brokers. Travel around town, looking for an apartment we could afford. If he wanted in, he was in all the way.

We talked more. We ordered more drinks.

We told him this wasn’t a vacation. This was the rest of our lives, and if he wanted to be a part of it, hustle was essential. We’d live tight, especially for the first year. There might be some staying in hostels, some nights sleeping in the car.

His face darkened.

“Are you guys planning on living in the ghettos?” he asked.

His desire and his sense of adventure waned. “I have commitments I have to take care of first,” he said. Then later, “It’s just hard. I might have to give up everything I have. Everything I worked for.”

You’re 24-years old, still living at home. What is this “everything?” we asked.

He nodded. “Maybe you’re right.” He half-smiled. “Maybe this is what I’ve been saving up for all these years, right?”

We left the bar on that note of optimism, with the faint hope we had another brother-in-arms, someone from Back Home, who’d join us out west. He drove me home, and we sat in his car, in my driveway. In the quiet night of suburbia, he petted the leather steering wheel as we talked, as if coaxing it to sleep. “Everything in my life was handed to me. I never had to struggle, and I think that’s what I need for a little while.”

I understood that much. We came from similar backgrounds, and there was this need to prove to our respective families we could make it on our own. Even when others scolded us, told us not to be silly, we didn’t have anything to prove to anyone, we knew they lied.

There was something to prove.

That was the last night we spoke of him coming out to California. Two days later, I received a text from him, his explanation for why he couldn’t make the trip out:

“I feel like I’m slowing down your guys’ momentum and I don’t want to get in the way. I know I have to get out of here, but I can’t find a way to make it work. Maybe after a year when you guys are settled in and you want to upgrade and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for, something could be worked out.”

That was it. No phone call, no farewell, no good luck. We haven’t spoken since.

It’s simple, to speak of adventure, of doing this or doing that. Or to talk about struggle, to imagine betting it all on a car ride across the country where you may or may not live in the ghetto.

To talk about how hard your life has been, or how bored you are doing what you’ve been doing for the last six years.

Just as simple is to resign yourself to doing it for the next six.

What’s hard is following up on the dream. Doing it, even though no one believes in you. Actually living The Struggle, not just romanticizing about it – that’s the hard part.

Related posts:

1. Sidebar: The Contact List
2. Sidebar: Breaking Falls
3. Sidebar: Final Thoughts

Don’t underestimate what you’re giving up. You’re leaving your doctors, your dentists, your favorite orthodontist. The relationships with your mailman, the grocer, the girl who has your coffee (light and sweet; extra whipped cream; sprinkle of cinnamon) ready before the bell above the door finishes chiming. You know which places have the best sushi, shrimp scampi, and after 10 p.m. drink specials. You’ll uproot nearly two decades worth life.

Ask: why?

If you’re still living with your parents, you take many aspects of your life for granted. That’s not a generalization. If you think otherwise, you’re naïve or foolish; neither of which you can afford while making this transition.  If you do pay rent, your parents (hopefully) aren’t gouging you. You don’t pay utilities, electric, cable. Someone buys groceries, someone cooks, even if it’s just occasionally. There are leftovers, and a microwave to heat them up. If you choose to cook, pots and pans are available for your use. You have a spice cabinet. You didn’t buy that oil, the salt, pepper, the paprika, the cornstarch, the chicken stock – you caught them like a senior citizen Wal-Mart associate – snoozing in the condiments aisle. Same with the countless oddly shaped mugs, your favorite Giants glass, the Corelle with the olive branches and dark stain that just won’t come out. You didn’t buy any of it.

But you’ll have to.

So you better know why.

Better spend serious time contemplating this question. Romanticizing about your beautifully independent life, or L.A. dreaming with your car windows rolled down for an hour isn’t doing the question justice. It might take weeks. Or months.

Why?

What’s the ultimate goal behind this move? What’s your metric of “Mission Accomplished” after a month? A year? Five years? Don’t expect to map out your life before leaving. It’s unrealistic, and probably impossible. But goals are essential.

What are you ideally doing when you get out there?

What’s a normal day like for you? What kind of work are you doing?

Who surrounds you?

Does this move align with the dreams you had for yourself when you played beneath tables and clung to pant legs?

What are you going to use the time and new-found proximity to accomplish?

What are you not going to do?

How far are you willing to fall before you realize it’s not working out? It’s fine to “fail,” even to fail utterly, but have a clear idea upon what those standards are set. What’s the back-up plan?

Is there a back-up plan?

Can you afford to have one?

Examine these questions before proceeding with your planning. If they scare you, good. David Horath said, “If you’re not scared, you’re doing something wrong.” That fear is a gut-check, a poke before the final question:

Are you ready?

Sidebar: Breaking Falls

Sidebar: The Struggle

Continue to XC2LA Part Two: Planning a Permanent Move

Related posts:

1. Sidebar: The Struggle